On Loving Social Media…Pitfalls And All

I might be alone in this but I’ve really been enjoying Social Media recently. I’m somewhat of an early adopter as my day-job is in Digital so I’ve been active on Social Media back when it was called Web 2.0…which really makes me cringe! I’ve had so many ups and downs as it’s evolved over the years, it feels nice to be in a happy place when I’m posting and sharing content. 

I know we’re all supposed to hate Social Media at the moment. As a blogger/influencer/whatever, complaining about the IG algorithm is practically part of the job description. I should be complaining about falling levels of engagement, stagnant followers and people cheating with comment pods, bots and the like. All of the above is true of course, it’s frustratingly difficult to grow on IG but I realised that complaining about it isn’t going to change it in the slightest. The only thing I can change is my attitude, so I decided to care less. And let me tell you, it’s one of the most liberating things I’ve ever done (apart from taking my bra off after a long day). 

Deciding not to care has really taken the pressure off and sharing content has become fun again. Of course, I still want my posts to do well and I check whether the number of likes a post received is ‘acceptable’ or if my number of followers has gone up. But I don’t let it affect my day. If a picture does ‘badly’, I let it go. If I have a net loss of followers in a day rather than gaining any, so what? I realised everyone is in the same boat and obsessing over Social Media is so unhealthy, there are so many other things to stress about in the grand scheme of life. It reminds me of the tipping point in blogging when everyone stopped obsessing about page views and put the focus back on why they starting blogging and just creating great content, without the stress of eying numbers.  

As a result of caring less, I’ve actually been MORE active on Social Media. Spending less time worrying about what to post and engagement after posting meant I had more time to post on IG Stories, which I really love at the moment. As Instagram has become a more polished and curated space, I love the candid nature of IG Stories. I’ve been sharing a look at my life – what I’m cooking, where I’m going and also which collections are inspiring me. It’s triggered lots of fun conversations with people, which is what I missed on Social Media – the social element! 

Last week, I had a timely reminder of the pitfalls to sharing, or oversharing, your life on Social Media. I consider myself to be pretty savvy; I don’t share details of where I live, I have my location off and never post where I actually am in real time because you can never be too careful. These are things that I consider common sense to anyone who uses Social, especially women. 

Despite practising safe Social, I found myself in a bit of a predicament over the last week. I noticed that I had a little fan on Instagram who would pop onto my profile at least 10 times a day to watch my Story…but she didn’t like me enough to actually follow. It was weird to think a stranger would think of me throughout the day, type my name into the search bar and watch my story! The plot thickened when I realised she was connected to my ex. Her motivations suddenly became crystal clear. 

It’s hard to explain but I really felt like my privacy had been violated.  This person had had such an intimate look into my life, I noticed it a week ago but really had no idea how long it had been going on. I started wondering whether it was my own fault for sharing my life on IG Stories. I regretted using it. But then I realised that it’s not my fault. If someone wants to find out information about you, they’re going to do it. 

Her behaviour was unacceptable but in a way, I get it. Women are so unfairly pitted against each other in the media that we all compare ourselves to each other. It’s human nature to check out the ex or the competition, but in this situation, I might have been the former but I certainly wasn’t the latter. Although I can empathise with the situation, it didn’t mean it was ok. 

You can’t really help who views your content, especially as a blogger. But I’ve become acutely aware of how much we all innocently expose on Social Media and how much it can be abused by people.

It all ended ok – there’s a block button on Instagram for a reason! I took a slight step back from Instagram Stories for a while as I felt so self-conscious about posting about my life and who could possibly be watching and for what reason. But I realised you can’t really help who views your content, especially as a blogger. But I’ve become acutely aware of how much we all innocently expose on Social Media and how much it can be abused by people. I’m just living my life and I love sharing certain aspects of it. I love the social aspect of Social Media. So I’m not going to let one person with bad intentions tarnish that for me. So…see you on IG Stories?! 

Coat – Max Mara

Hoodie – Palace

Skirt – Zara (sold out)

Boots – Isabel Marant (similar)

Photography by Adorngirl

Reena Rai

Reena Rai is a 30-something London-based fashion, travel and lifestyle blogger. She has been blogging for 10 years (!), previously at fashiondaydreams.com before launching her self-titled blog.


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